So doing this portrait made me feel stoic, in a good way, the kind of stoic you feel when you are reflecting back on your life, your hardships, and sufferings.The human face can be as easy to read as a book, but still one seldom knows what lays beneath the eyes, or expressions that others wear. Indeed, I would say I felt incredibly stoic throughout this whole project. looking at one’s self forces us to look at what is and what isn’t. We must face the reality, that our perception of what we look like is often wrong. If I were to take a snapshot of my mentally constructed me and the actuality of who I am, They wouldn’t line up.
Self portraits represent the disconnect between our personal realities and the reality we all share. Most people view themselves differently from the way everyone else does. Sometimes people view themselves in an overly harsh light. I am a constant critic, looking for faults in myself, finding some faults that do no not exist and others that I augment and others that I over look. Perhaps, the self portrait is a reflection of our pride, our hubris.
I find that self portraits tend to be inaccurate no matter how good the artist, or how captivating the style. The portrait could look exactly like someone, but it would always be missing something. We are works in progress and yet our work is finite, the artist is forced to stop working on it, and thus, the portrait is limited to a small period of time. Like a snapshot.
to be quiet frank, I never liked looking at myself, Not because of my appearance, but because I find the outside of me never reflects the inside. I suppose it all comes back to be being stoic, remaining the same externally regardless of inner turmoil.
Anyway, I found this project difficult to do because of my general dislike of looking at me, I much rather look at someone else, At least then my own bias is limited. I am not exactly pleased with my final product, but then again, I never feel like anything is completed. I found that I learned a lot about slowing down and really observing shape value, and shade, and shadow. I am pleased with that which has been well observed. And not pleased with the areas that weren’t. But I imagine I will have time enough to correct the errors I made, and to observe some more… either over the summer or next year.
I really enjoyed this class and have learned a lot and still have more to learn